Baby Daddy

As you know, I had a baby with my boyfriend. Not my husband. Not my fiancé. My boyfriend. I'm typing that with some distain, so you can read it like a disgusted third grader would say boyfriend... boo-ooyyyfriend. Anywho, now I've got me a baby daddy. Let me tell you, it sucks. I have no ring on my finger, when I go out with Everlyn I feel like people look at me like some trollop who got knocked up by a one night stand (which I'm proud to say, I've never had ever in my life). They don't know. They see me as some unmarried hoe with a kid. Now, I don't know if they really think these things, but I'm assuming.

So what I did is I went out and bought me a fake wedding ring for $50 that I wear when I go out. Cade doesn't mind. He doesn't want me to look like a hoe either. But he also doesn't want to get married any time soon. Well, he doesn't really ever want to get married. And that really sucks.

Having a baby daddy puts a girl in an awkward spot. Because now you really want to make it work and get married and have more babies and live happily ever after as a family. But how often does that really work out? And then there's also that little part of you that still is saving hope for your fantasy man. We all have them don't we? Mine is a big burly lumberjack. He will chop down trees to build me a house and then when a bear comes and attacks us, he will kill it and make me a bear-skin rug where we will sit and have meaningful conversations in front of the fireplace. Not that I've thought about it much.

Oh, but what really bothers me is that my daughter and I do not have the same last name. I wanted her to have her dad's last name, and I'm happy with that decision, but it kills me that she and I don't share a last name. So I either have to go be crazy and change my last name to my boyfriend's, wait to see if one day maybe he will change his mind about the whole marriage thing, or just live with having different last names.

I'm going to go shine my fake ring now because I'm going out soon.